1. Because 2008 was soooo 1999. All those things that weren’t good for you in the previous year should go out of fashion like Aqua-net plastered bangs. Just apply the rule for handling clutter: if you don’t need it, don’t want it and can’t use it, throw it away! That goes for bad habits too.

2. Because Jack Lalanne (the Juiceman) said: “if a man made it don’t eat it” and “if it tastes good, spit it out.” Now I wouldn’t be so extreme. Even Jack Lalanne can’t put down a good hummus dip, a slice of watermelon, or a nice juicy buffalo burger. Point is, though, most people can change their eating habits and the new year is a natural time to do it.

3. Because you are what you eat. Okay, this is very much like point number two but it’s THAT important. The new year is time to feel clean and lean. You’re going for the trim polished look of a celery stick. You don’t want to look deep fried and oily and you wouldn’t want Jack Lalanne to spit you out.

4. Because when the boogie man goes to sleep he checks the closet for Chuck Norris. And Chuck Norris WILL get on your case if you don’t start some kind of exercise program.

5. Because, at the age of 70, while shackled and restrained, Jack Lalanne propelled himself using his own two hands and two feet for 1.5 miles through the ocean while pulling 70 boats with 70 people in them. Alright, if you’re under 70 you just can’t let Jack show you up like that.

By the way, the pic at top right isn't me, it's Jack Lalanne. I'm personally not too fond of one piece jumpsuits, even the glorified yellow jammies Bruce Lee used to wear.